How do I set financial goals as a couple when we have different money styles?

Start by each writing your top three money goals privately, then compare. Differences usually come from values, not math, so talk about the "why" behind each goal before arguing over dollars. Agree on a small number of shared goals you'll both fund automatically, and consider giving each partner a no-questions-asked personal spending amount so neither feels policed. Set a recurring monthly "money date" to review progress calmly rather than during a crisis. A saver married to a spender can compromise by automating savings first so the spender's remaining money is genuinely free to enjoy. If conversations keep turning into conflict, a one-time session with a fee-only financial planner or a financial therapist can reset the dynamic. The key is a shared scoreboard you both can see.